


Here's to Us

by theobviouschild (danielle007)



Series: Poe and Lorelai Collection [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Exes, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Heartbreak, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Relationship(s), Reunions, Romantic Friendship, Starting Over, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 10:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7570435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danielle007/pseuds/theobviouschild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two years after running away, Lorelai unwillingly finds herself having to come face-to-face with the world she left and the man who caused her downfall. </p>
<p>Based on Ellie Goulding's song "Here's to Us".</p>
<p>All "Stars Wars" material and "Force Awakens" characters and storyline belong to their rightful owners. I only own my OC.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

** Two Years Ago **

_"The general would like a word with you."_

_Lorelai shut her eyes and leaned her head back. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. "Tell her I will be in her office in a hour. I'd at least like mentally prepare myself for being called a 'mess up'."_

_As she attempted to walk past Lieutenant Connix, the kiss-ass gently pushed her back. "She would like to speak with you right **now**."_

_"Don't you dare push me!" Lorelai snapped pointing a finger in Connix's face. "Don't you fucking dare."_

_Connix stayed put, not bothering to or too intimidated to speak back. Lorelai pushed past her, cursing under her breath. As she made her way towards Organa's headquarters, other Resistance members took notice and whispered among each other. Lorelai rolled her eyes and kept moving along. By this point it had become a part of a new daily routine that started only a week ago._

_In the midst of her walking and the million thoughts racing through her head, she found herself suddenly distracted when her eyes stumbled upon **him**. Her pacing slowed down immediately and she watched as Poe Dameron and another pilot entered the hallway. Just the sight of him laughing and that dastardly but heart-stopping smile sweeping across his lips was enough to make her want to bang her head against the wall. He was perfect in _ _every way possible - intelligent, a damn good pilot, charming, likable, and looks that made him the total package. While that was enough to get her going, it was the way he treated her when they were alone that melted her icy interior and drew her to him._

_But she couldn't take him right now._

_His eyes quickly met hers and his smile faded a little. Between the day she was having and the way he was looking at her, it was enough to bring her to tears._

_**Goddamit** , she thought to herself. _

_Poe excused himself before making his way toward her. Lorelai stopped walking completely, her eyes locked with his. She turned around to face him. They stood there silently for a second, the pieces of last night coming back together again in the most awkward and daunting fashion._

_He shoved his hands in his jumpsuit pocket. "Hey," he said with a slight sigh._

_"Hi," she murmured._

_Another silence fell leading them into a game of who would talk first. While it was clear to both of them that the turn rightfully belonged to him, she figured he couldn't do it in public._

_"Are...are you okay?" His voice was hesitant but nevertheless filled with concern._

_Lorelai pursed her lips.  "I think you already know the answer to that."_

_Poe shook his head. "That's not what I was referring to. I just heard about what happened during practice. They said your wing nearly fell off."_

_It took everything in Lorelai not to want to punch every pilot (including him) in the face. Her eyes darted away him from his as she mentally coaxed herself into not crying in front of him. While that didn't go very well the night before it seemed to be doing wonders at the moment. She could handle the other pilots mocking her or belittling her for it with their snarky,"better-than-you" voices. They meant nothing. It was the notion of knowing that Poe knew she fucked up once again that crushed her. He was the Resistance's top pilot and the go-to man. He was looked up to and adored by everyone on board. The last thing she needed was to hear him pity her._

_Much to her own surprise, Poe took a step in front of her and attempted to place his hand on her shoulder. "Lorelai, look at me."_

_Lorelai stepped back before his finger tip could touch her skin. Her eyes landed right back on to his. "I have to go."_

_She turned away when he sped up in front of her again. This time his hands managed to reach her shoulders. His eyes were glued to hers. "You can talk to me. You know that, right?"_

_A tear strolled down her cheek as she shook her head. "I used to believe that," she growled with a soft tremble._

_She sniffled and shook him off of her. " Let me go before people see you giving a shit about me."_

_As she moved away toward him, she wiped whatever tears she had left with her fingers. It was one thing to let Poe see her cry but to let General Organa see her cry was out of the question._

* * *

 

_By the time she reached the general's office, Lorelai's tears were nonexistent and her head was held high. She walked in and General Organa stood up from her chair. General Organa greeted the young pilot with a sympathetic smile. She motioned to the chair and Lorelai took a seat._

_"It's funny," General Organa began as she took a seat. "I was thinking about this little girl I used to know who would give her parents consistent heart attacks with her bold antics. I remember this one time, she wandered off into her father's X-Wing and stayed there for hours pretending that she could fly. Somehow, she had managed to start the plane. No one knows how, not even her. All I know is my son, Ben, running to me in hysterics and telling me some girl was about to fly off with an X-Wing. I rushed over with her parents and the first thing that caught my attention was that she didn't care that she started the engine - she just went with it as if it was no big deal. It took everything in me not to laugh about it front of her parents. Her dad rushed over and because the plane wasn't moving, he was able to get in and turn it off. He brought her down and when he asked her what she was thinking doing such a thing, she shrugged and said, 'I was practicing.' I turned to that girl's mother and I said, 'Remind me to hire her when she's old enough.'"_

_Lorelai chuckled despite not being in the mood to smile. "I was grounded for a week," she said with a nod. "Dad never let me live that down."_

_General Organa nodded. "You're born pilot, Lorelai," she went on. "You do a damn good job and despite whatever you may think, people do think you're more than qualified to be here. At least I do. But when you're distracted or consumed in other matters, you tend to be a careless flyer. Lately you've been careless on and off ground about your job or everyone around you and to be honest, I'm starting wonder whether or not you can handle the job I've waited to give you for many years."_

_At any other time, Lorelai would have fought tooth and nail to assure she was good enough. She knew that being the daughter of a pilot and having close relationship with General Organa came with a fair amount of pressure that would require having to prove herself worthy every single day. Normally it wasn't even an issue - but now she found herself with no motivation to save her from losing her job. She was too numb to care even a little bit._

_"I know this is the part where I'm supposed to assure you that I can handle it, but right now I can't bring myself to say it," Lorelai admitted. She stood up from her chair and looked General Organa in the eyes. "I appreciate all that you have done for me and for allowing me this opportunity and I apologize for letting you down."_

_Before she could walk away, General Organa spoke up. "I didn't say I was firing you."_

_Lorelai turned around and watched General Organa make her way towards her. "I discussed your behavior with Poe Dameron earlier and he agreed that firing you would be a huge mistake, but he thought that it would be the best to put you on a suspension until we feel you are ready to work again."_

_For the first time a couple weeks, Lorelai was able to feel something. Hearing Poe making a decision about how to handle her behavior was a huge slap in her face. **I could kill him right now** , she thought to herself. _

_"And you agree to this?" Lorelai asked slowly. General Organa nodded her head. Lorelai pursed her lips tightly and shut her eyes._

_"It's only temporary," General Organa assured._

_"What will I be doing in the mean time?" Lorelai asked with a shrug. "What will I be doing until Poe decides he's ready to work with me? Waiting around? Does he expect me to wait around for him again only for him to tell me it's nothing personal against me but that he doesn't feel like he can be with me in a work environment too?"_

_In that moment she realized she'd slipped the very piece of information she swore to Poe she wouldn't tell General Organa. Surprisingly, General Organa didn't seem too phased._

_"I didn't think you would be the one to admit there was something going on," she remarked._

_Lorelai scoffed. "Yeah, well Poe's too ashamed to admit that he spent time with me." She turned to the door and looked over her shoulder. "I'm sorry I let you down, General," she apologized dryly._

_With that, she slammed the door._

* * *

_Lying on her bed, Lorelai toyed with the necklace that her father had given her as present for being selected to fly for the Resistance. He'd had his lucky coin, the one he carried with him on all his missions, turned into a necklace for his daughter to wear during her missions. The wears and tears on it brought her to tears - out of everyone she'd let down, letting him down hurt the most._

_She buried her face in her pillow and sobbed. How could she have let herself sink this low? At one point did she let her affections for someone dictate her job and her entire being? And after all that had happened, how could she still be in love with Poe?_

_A familiar beeping noise from out of nowhere caught her off guard. She looked down to find BB-8 beside her bed._

_"How did you get in here?" she sniffled._

_BB-8 beeped back in a matter-of-fact tone._ **You told me your code incase I ever needed to reach you, remember?**

_"Forgot about that. Sorry, bud."_

**How come I haven't seen you lately?**

_If her heart was already broken enough, BB-8's question had taken another piece of Lorelai's heart. She loved the droid like it was her own and although he belonged to Poe, she was present the day BB-8 came to life. He was her buddy just as much as he was Poe's. Poe would often joke that they were BB-8's parents because of the way the droid doted on both of them._

_She swallowed hard. "I've been super busy, BB." Each word of her lie tasted like vinegar._

**Poe says you're not doing too well.**

_"Oh he has now?"_

**That's all he ever says. That and 'Lorelai has a lot going on'.**

_"Well he's not entirely wrong."_

**Are you two still mad at each other?**

_Lorelai sat up . She'd swore Poe and her had it out without BB-8 present. He told the droid that he would be right back and to stay put. Poe wouldn't share such a thing with him knowing how much BB-8 loved her. How the hell did BB-8 know?_

_"What do you mean?" she asked feigning_ _innocence._

_Before the droid could answer, Poe entered the room with rage-filled eyes. He glared at Lorelai in a way she'd never seen before. Without even looking at his droid, Poe ordered in the calmest tone he could manage," BB-8, go outside."_

**No! I want to stay!**

_"Go. Now."_

_The droid whimpered and rolled away. Poe closed the door behind him and Lorelai stood up. "You told the general about us?!" Poe exclaimed._

_Lorelai sighed and rubbed her temples. "It was an accident," she said clenching her teeth._

_"You always say that but I'm not entirely sure that's all true." He stepped closer to her. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted but you please don't make it your mission to bring me down."_

_He'd now crossed a line. Lorelai's jaw dropped as all the fury she'd tried to hold in burst out. "Bring **you** down?" Lorelai asked pointing a finger at him. " Sometimes you don't realize how conceited you get. You may be a good at your job but that doesn't mean the entire fucking universe revolves around you, you selfish prick!" _

_She went to turn from him when he grabbed her forearm. Without any hesitation she pushed him back and cried,"Get out of my room!"_

_"I'm not done with you!" Poe fought back stepping close. "I think the punishment you received was fair and that you need to suck it up."_

_Lorelai scoffed and jabbed her finger at his chest. "You fuck with me for two whole years, take everything I've ever given you, and when you decide I'm not good enough for you, you push me out like some goddamn animal! Then you start pretending to give a shit, acting like you have a say in what I do in my life and punish me for my behavior WHICH IS A RESULT OF YOU BEING A SHITTY PERSON!"_

_"Oh boo fucking hoo, Lorelai!" Poe spat. "Stop whining about how you got screwed over!"_

_"I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU AND YOU THREW ME OUT!"_

_The room fell deathly silent. Lorelai's eyes were bright red and watery. Poe swallowed hard the sight of her trembling like a scared child. He knew damn well she was right and that gave her the upper hand._

_Lorelai furrowed her eyebrows, collecting herself as best as she could. "The worst part," she began with a slight tremble in her voice,"was that you knew how I had felt all the years. You knew I had never felt that way about anyone. You knew that you were my weakness...and you took advantage of it. All I had to was say it and it was over for you."_

_She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. There was a time she swore she'd never let him see her this way, but in that moment, even he knew he deserved it. Her legs gave out and she fell down to her knees._

_Poe stood still, watching her icy exterior shatter all over. It was one thing for him to be aware of the mess he made, but it was another to actually witness it with his own eyes._

_"I made it clear for the beginning," he told her in a gentle voice. He knelt down in front of her. "I told you I-."_

_"Don't." Her voice cut him like a knife. "Get out."_

_He got up and made his way to the door. Before he could let himself out, he looked over his shoulder at her. His heart broke a little to see her watching him go. "I never meant to hurt you," he murmured._

_Her green eyes darkened in a way he'd never seen before. "I hate you," she said, her voice seething._

_That was his cue to go._

* * *

 

_A couple hours and some dried tears later, Lorelai made up her mind. She grabbed her knapsack and filled it with the essentials she needed - her laser gun, some clothes, and some personal items. She closed the knapsack and headed out the door._

_She had been clever enough to choose the time when she knew hardly anyone would be around. Nevertheless, she made herself aware of her surroundings each step she took. Security on the ship was tight, but she was smart enough to get away without being seen._

_She reached the docking area for the X-Wings and got into hers. Her fingers moved a mile a second as if she was being chased. Once the engine was up and running, she flew her way out._

_She never looked back._


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to two people. One, to our beloved Carrie Fisher. There aren't enough words to describe how magnificent of a person she was. She was a princess, John Belushi's revenge-seeking fiancé, Sally's best friend, and an advocate for mental health. She was witty, charming, funny as hell, and brilliant. Just a fucking brilliant person. She will be deeply missed.  
> The other person is a dear friend of mine, Mike, who passed away back in August. Mike was the biggest Star Wars fan I'd ever met. He has seen every single movie and had gone to every single showing. He had met Mark and Carrie too. On top of that, he was one of the kindest souls I'd ever had the pleasure of knowing. He made everyone feel special and loved. I miss him everyday. 
> 
> May the force be with both you <3

 

**Present Day **

"Han! It's your turn to feed the brats!" 

There was no response. No sound of old man grumbling or a roar of laughter from Chewbacca. Lorelai furrowed her eyebrows and kept walking ahead. She poked her head into the cockpit where Han normally was, only to find it was empty. Suddenly, the distant murmurs of a machine going off cut into the silence. Shaken, she stomped out of the cockpit and down the hall to the holding area where the ships they stole for parts were kept. 

Lorelai leaned on the door entry and watched Han test the engine of some ship they snatched from an abandoned lot on some planet she barely knew the name of. Within a matter of seconds, Han took off the helmet and his stern eyes met hers.

"What?" he shrugged. 

"It's your turn," she said. 

Han rolled his eyes. "Can't you do it?" 

Lorelai cocked her head back and stomped toward him. Chewie mumbled and Lorelai whipped her head toward him. "Stay out of this one, Chewie," she warned him. Her eyed moved back to Han. "I've done triple duty for those damn things since we took them in. That was three weeks ago. You've only fed them once since then." 

"They like you better," Han argued. He jumped out of the small ship and walked past her. Lorelai grumbled under her breath as she sped up her pace to catch up with him. 

"Admit it, Han - you're scared shitless of them," she pointed out. 

Without bothering to looking at her, he snapped back,"I'm _not_ afraid. I just prefer to keep my distance from them." 

She scoffed. "I find it intriguing how the scoundrel, who at one point was frozen to death by Darth Vader, is afraid of feeding some rathtars. Really blows my mind." 

Han cut her off, taking a step in front of her. His facial expression was enough to let her know he wasn't playing around. "I'm doing you a favor, kid," he said pointing a finger at her. "Two years ago you flew here wanting to escape the Resistance and I let you stay here. I could've brought you back but I didn't. I gave you a job and a place to stay. Feeding those damn things is part of your job and if you have a problem with that, know that I will not hesitate to bring you back." 

Lorelai folded her arms across her chest, unfazed by Han's "threat". It wasn't the first time he'd done this. "You know who you're going to have to deal with when you bring me back, right?" she questioned in a sing-song tone. 

Han glared at her and got up from his chair. He went over to the corner and picked up the bucket filled with some unidentified material or goop for the rathtars. He pushed it at her. "Do your job," he grumbled. 

She rolled her eyes and turned around to walk away. From behind her, Chewie laughed. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to the wookie, pointing a finger at him. "Watch it, fuzzy." 

Chewie grumbled and walked away. Lorelai watched him and shook her head before leaving.

She entered the rathtar area, completely unphased by their constant knocking in their metal cage. She opened the food dropbox and poured the contents of the bucket into it. Her nose scrunched at the pungent smell. She closed the dropbox and placed the bucket beside it. 

Making her way out, she stopped to lean her back on the wall and closed her eyes. She could feel her body slide down against the wall and land on her butt. She buried her face in her knees and, in her mind, drifted into the past. Once upon a time she was an up-and-coming pilot extraordinaire, determined to follow the path of her father. What separated her from Poe was that Poe was more of a leader, cautious and careful in the X-Wing. His every move precise and by the book. She, on the other hand, flew freely. She soared through any obstacle and still managed to hit every target in her path. She was no one's leader and she scoffed at the idea of being someone's follower. The only person she took orders from was Leia. Beyond that, she was independent, a loner. 

Leia and Lorelai's parents joked that she was the female Han Solo. Han, while never publicly admitting it, agreed as well. 

Lorelai had it all until he got the best of her. The very moment Lorelai and Poe met, Lorelai as smitten. In addition to being charming, easygoing, and witty, Poe shared the same qualities and the goals she had. She instilled her trust in him and his in her. He wasn't a fan of her "making the own rules" style, but he would argue against anyone who dared to say she had no idea what she was doing. He had her back and she had his. 

Everything was fine until she realized she was completely and utterly in love with him. 

She realized it one night when they stayed after-hours, cleaning their X-Wings. She thought she was doing a good job of hiding it until one night, after one too many drinks, Poe told her he knew how she felt and he kissed her and kissing led to them spending the night. The next morning, Poe requested that they keep it a secret and for two years, they fooled around. It was never official; nothing more than a fling that lasted for two years. She didn't mind it, enjoying the intimacy whenever it came about or whenever it was convenient for _him._  Then one night it her, she was in love with him that her world started to revolve around him and that's when it hit her the most. It was the same night, Poe told her he couldn't do it anymore and refused to acknowledge her unless they were working. He'd walked in and walked out without giving her a reason, but leaving her to feel helpless and angry and belittled. 

She hated herself for losing track of what mattered the most, of losing sight of her ambitions because she couldn't keep her damn feelings to herself. She was thankful for Han taking her in quietly, but the tasks he assigned her were far below mediocre. She had skills he refused to let her use. Nevertheless, she was away from her mistakes and away from being labeled as a "tragic hero".

At night, she thought of Poe and she would often find him in her dreams, but she ignored them. To her, they were constant reminders of her biggest mistake.  

Eventually she drifted into a deep slumber. 

* * *

 

The sound of a vibrating roar startled her. She jumped and found Chewie standing over her, his large gun in his hand. Lorelai made a face. 

"I'm afraid to ask," she told him gesturing to the gun. 

Chewie roared.  _Han found the Millennium Falcon. He beamed it into the ship. He wants you to come check it out with us._

Lorelai shot up from the ground, eyes wide open. The last time she saw Han's Millennium Falcon, she was seven and refused to get out of it, begging Han to fly it. 

"Say no more," Lorelai said. "Let's go." 

She followed Chewie down the hall, quickly stopping to grab a gun just incase. The pace of heartbeat quickened widely with excitement. When Chewie pressed the button to open the corridor where it was, Lorelai ran in front of him and stopped to take the sight of the ship in front of her. 

Even in it's slightly aged glory, it was, in Lorelai's eyes, magnificent and breathtaking. She took it in before charging inside. She looked around, eyes lit up. Everything seemed to be working just fine despite the interior's musty smell. She could remember running up and down the halls as a little kid, making her parents nervous. 

In the distance, she heard Han's voice. "Chewie! Get here now with Lorelai! We've got a couple stowaways!" 

Lorelai followed Chewie to where Han was. Han stood there, gun in hand, pointed at two strangers - a boy and a girl. They were no more than a few years younger than her. She held up her gun, the terror in their eyes growing. Then the terror in the boy's eyes vanished when he studied her.

"I know her," he stated pointing at her.

Han knitted his eyebrows and looked Lorelai. "You recognize him, kid?" 

Lorelai cocked her head back, lowering her gun. "Don't you think I would've said something if I knew him?"

"I have something of hers!" the boy pleaded. He went to take off the jacket when Lorelai commanded," Wait!"

Something about his jacket was familiar to her. It was a beat up, leach brown jacket with a patch of red leather on the shoulders. She took a step closer to him. "I know that jacket from somewhere," she whispered. 

The boy reached in and Lorelai held up her gun to him. "I promise I won't shoot," the boy assured her.

Before Lorelai could say something, a beeping sound distracted her. 

"What was that?" Han asked. 

"It was our droid, Mr. Solo," the girl answered. "His name is BB-8." 

Lorelai lowered her gun and ran to the vent and looked down. BB-8 beeped again and her heart broke into a million different pieces. 

"BB-8?" she called to him softly.

The droid looked up and squealed in delight.  **LORELAI?! YOU'RE ALIVE?!**

Lorelai jumped in and hugged the droid. "What are you doing here?" she asked him. She froze and looked around. If BB-8 was here, that meant one thing. "BB-8, where's Poe?" 

"You knew Poe? Poe Dameron?" the boy inquired. 

She stood up and eyed the boy's jacket. Her heart dropped and eyes widened. He was wearing Poe's jacket. 

"Why do you have his jacket?" she asked the boy, pointing to his jacket. 

"I can explain-." 

She grabbed her gun and pointed to him. "Where is he?!" 

"Poe's dead." 

Her gun slipped out of her hand, her body frozen. Her stomach churned and she looked to BB-8. Without asking, BB-8 confirmed the truth. 

**He's not lying, Lorelai.**

Her mouth dropped open but no words could come out. Tears began to form in her eyes as she shook her head. 

"Lorelai," Han said in a slow tone. When it didn't grab her attention, he tried again, this time with a slightly harsher tone. "Lorelai, look at me." 

The boy reached into the jacket and pulled out a small white card. She flipped it over to find it was her ID card. 

"I'm so sorry," the boy said in hushed tone. 

A tear strolled down her face and she ran for it. In the midst of her own break down coming together, she couldn't hear Han calling for her to come back. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't much of chapter, but I hope it was alright. Let me know in the comments. Also, if you're feeling sad today and need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. We're all going to get through this together <3


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of the lines in this scene are not mine and are taken from the movie.

Her body trembled, losing all sense of self-control. She couldn't open her eyes in fear she'd realize none of this was some dark and twisted dream she was having. But deep down the reality of it clung onto her and it killed her. Those words from two years ago, the ones that spit out with as much venom as she could possess, danced in her head. They were the last words she ever said to him.

_"I hate you."_

She didn't mean it - even when she said it she knew she didn't mean it. She was so consumed in her anger, so ridden in vulnerability and so hurt by his rejection that she all she wanted was to give him a taste of his own medicine. Now he was gone and any chance for an apology was out of the question. He died believing she hated him and she could never forgive herself for it. 

He was a good guy whose focus was on making sure he went above and beyond what was asked of him. More than anything, he was her friend when not many people were. He deserved more than her unloading her baggage onto him.

 _If you'd just kept your damn feelings to yourself_ , she scolded to herself. _If you didn't give into him, if you had just lied..._

She stopped herself, a sigh escaping her lips. That night played out in her mind. 

_"I envy you," he admitted without any kind of a warning._

_Lorelai turned to him and lowered the pint she was about to drink from. Her eyebrows furrowed. "You what?"_

_Poe nodded his head, his lips curling into a sheepish smile. "You heard me."_

_"No shit, but I'm going to need an explanation."_

_He downed the last bit that was left in his pint and turned to her. "For one thing, you're a damn good pilot."_

_She let out_ _laugh, clapping her hands together. "Poe, come on."_

_"I'm serious."_

_"But you're top of our class. I'm, like, second to you. Not that I care - you know I don't - but, come on. You're the leader."_

_"I'm not talking about rank, Lorelai. So what if you're second? You're an amazing pilot and you've got skills they couldn't even teach me or anyone else."_

_Lorelai held back a smile. She was trying to be reasonable and understanding of what he was trying to say, but it was difficult when he was admitting that he wasn't as good as she was. Not that he was right because he wasn't. At least she thought he wasn't._

_"Also, you don't have the responsibility of being a leader," he went on. "You do your own thing, not listening to anyone-."_

_"-except the general," she finished for him._

_"-except the general. You just...just...fly!"_

_She let out another laugh and slid the bartender some money. "It's time to get you home," she told Poe._

_Poe's eyebrows knitted together as an adorably confused expression swept his face. "What? Why?"_

_"Because you've had too much."_

_"No I haven't."_

_She ignored him and pulled his arm. He wouldn't budge. She whipped her heard toward him and commanded," Come on, Poe. We have an early morning. I'll stop at your place first and get you settled."_

_He gave in but wriggled his arm out of her embrace. The two walked side-by-side out of the bar. Poe stumbled a bit, but managed to get himself up. Lorelai swung an arm across his shoulders. "Easy there Dameron."_

_She could feel his gaze on her throughout the duration of their walk. At first, she found it rather uncomfortable but shrugged it off. He was just drunk._

_"You're beautiful," he told her._

_"Thanks," she replied with a scoff._

_"I'm serious."_

_"Yeah, yeah, I know."_

_"I know you have a thing for me."_

_She stopped and let go of him. Her mouth opened wide and her heart beat at an accelerated rate. She didn't tell anyone - not even Jessika who tried multiple times to get it out of her. She thought she hid it from him._

_Poe stepped closer to her, tucking her hair behind her, sending shivers down her spine. "I've known for a loooooong time," he mumbled._

_She shut her mouth and pulled his hand, continuing their walk. "You're drunk," she told him._

_"I'm not drunk," he corrected her. "I'm just buzzed."_

_"Okay, whatever you say, but I'm taking you back to your quarters and leaving you there."_

_He pouted. "You're not gonna stay the night?"_

_She ignored him and hurried her pace. The faster she got him to his quarters, the faster he could go to sleep and forget he told that he knew. Poe stayed quiet for the rest of the walk._

_By the time, she got him to his quarters she typed in the code and the doors_ _opened. BB-8 was charging in his port, asleep, but woke up when he heard the sound of the door opening. He rolled off the port and beeped at the two._

_"Everything is fine, BB-8," Lorelai assured the droid. "Go back to sleep."_

_Poe turned around and pointed a finger at the droid. "BB-8, buddy, help me out here. Tell Lorelai that she-."_

_"Poe, stop it!" she snapped._

_She pushed him onto the bed and w_ _ithout any warning, he grabbed her hands and pulled her down with him. Her face hit Poe's chest. She lifted her face up. "_ _What the hell is wrong with you?!"_

_Poe's hands moved to her face where they cupped her cheeks. His lips slammed onto hers. She pulled back and got up from him. "Lorelai!" He called after her._

_She wiped the tears streaming down her face, embarrassed at what happened. Poe rushed to block the door. "I'm sorry for what I did but how long do we have to keep pretending that you don't have feeling for me?" he asked her._

_She'd had enough. "What's it to you?" she growled. "Why do you care if I do?"_

_He grinned. "So you're admitting to it?"_

_Right as she went to press the first number of the code to leave, Poe stopped her. They stared at each other in a tense, quiet moment. "Fuck it," she muttered._

_Her lips pressed onto his. Poe cupped his hands back onto her face for brief moment, deepening his fight for dominance in the kiss. He let go for brief moment and commanded,"Wrap your legs around me." She jumped up and snaked her legs around his waist. He kissed her again as his hands grasping onto her waist._

_In the midst of his tongue exploring her mouth, he walked them over to the bed. He laid her down on the bed,her back pressing down onto the mattress. His hands moved down to the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head. He quickly removed his shirt and began peppering kisses on her neck and moving down to chest. She let out a soft moan._

_Clothes were being thrown onto the floor, one by one, until the only thing covering her body was his. Neither of them knew what they were doing, but by his first thrust into her it was too late to take anything back._

_The next morning, Lorelai woke up with Poe's arms wrapped around her. Memories of last night came back to her one by one and she smacked her head. "I'm so screwed," she mumbled under her breath._

"LORELAI!" 

She shot up at the sound of Han's voice and watched as he ran to her, Chewie, the two kids, and BB-8 following from behind. "We need to get out of here," he told her. 

"Why?" 

"Guavian Death Gang decided to pay an unexpected visit." 

She could feel the color in her face drain. Her lips pursed tightly as her hands curled into fists. Their surprise appearance meant one thing and one thing only and it was not going to end with them being alive. "What...did...you...do, Han?" The tensity in her tone was to hold her back from screaming in face. 

"No time to explain," Han said choosing to ignore her fury boiling. "Grab your gun and take these kids up into the corridor. Stay there until I say so. Chewie and I will handle it."

"What about BB-8?" the girl asked. 

"He stays with me until I get rid of the gang," Han answered. 

"What about the rathtars?" the boy asked. "Where are you keeping them?" 

Lorelai cleared her throat and motioned to the container behind the boy. The boy and girl turned around when one of the rathtars banged against the container, causing the two to jump. One of the rathtars eyed them from the window. 

"There's one," Han pointed out. 

"What are you going to do?" the girl asked Han. 

"Same thing I always do," he said with a shrug. "Talk my way out of it." 

"Because that works out so well for you," Lorelai scoffed. 

Chewie roared in agreement with Lorelai. Han whipped his head toward the rookie, pointing a finger at him. "Yes I do," he argued. "Everytime." He turned back to Lorelai. "Take them now."

Lorelai picked up her gun and stomped passed Han. She hit him with her shoulder along the way. "You better come back alive so I can kill you myself," she snapped without even looking at him. She motioned for the two kids to follow her as she put the gun in her holster. 

"What did you say your guys names were?" she asked them. 

 

The girl answered with "Rey" while the boy answered with,"Finn." 

"Rey, Finn - I'm going to need you to isten to me very carefully- if you want to make it out of here alive, we have to be on the same page." She turned to them. "I catch one of stealing something or going against me, I will make no hesitation to shoot you. Do not think for one second that just because you both saw me cry that I am weak and in a forgiving state because you are sorely mistaken. You listen to me, you will live. Are we clear?" 

Rey and Finn nodded. Lorelai turned the corner of the cage and opened the entrance to the corridor. She jumped down first before turning around and helping the boy and girl get down safety. She closed the door, got her hands and knees, and waited for a moment. She could hear the conversation taking place. 

"What's the problem?" Han asked. 

"Problem is we loaned you 50,00 for this job," Bala-Tik snarled. 

Lorelai scrunched her nose in disgust. She'd only seen him once and once was enough for her to want to punch him in his face. 

"Can you see them?" Rey asked Lorelai in a hushed tone.

Lorelai shook her head. "Not yet." She motioned them to follow her as the continued to crawl. Her eyes looked up and in through the floors as several pairs of feet came into view. This meant they were on the side where the Guavian Death Gang were standing. She stopped moving and looked around to see if they armed. 

"They have blasters," Rey whispered to Lorelai. 

"How many?" Lorelai asked. 

"A lot of them," Finn replied. 

Lorelai motioned for them to keep going as the leader of the Guavian Death Gang, Bala-Tik, demanded," We want our money back."

Suddenly, the sound of another door opening was heard and Lorelai held out her hand for Rey and Finn to stop moving. She prayed that this didn't mean the entire Guavian Death Gang was on board. A handful of them was already terrifying enough. 

"Tasu Leech," she heard Han call out. "Good to see you." 

Lorelai shut her eyes tight and mouthed, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" The only thing worse than the Guavian Death Gang were the Kanjiklub. They were just as deadly if not more terrifying than the Guavians. How Han managed to hide his association with them to her was beyond her. 

 _I'm really going to kill him after this is over,_ she thought to herself. 

She turned to Rey and Finn. "Turn around," she mouthed. They moved over so she could get passed them to lead. Her crawling pace picked up a bit, her heart rapidly beating. She mentally coaxed herself to remain calm for the sake of Rey and Finn. Their safety was her priority.  

The scuffling going on above them were nothing more than mere murmurs to her at that point. Ahead of them was an slightly more open area she knew they could be safe. They were just about to reach it when Bala-Tik remarked, "That BB-8 unit. First order is looking for one just like it...and two fugitives." 

Lorelai froze and turned her toward Rey and Finn, who were also frozen. The two kids exchanged looks of fear before eyeing Lorelai. "Is this true?" she mouthed. They nodded their head and she cursed herself for letting Han put BB-8, Finn, and Rey in danger. She kept her composure and mouthed, "Keep going." 

That's when she heard Tasu Leech command in his native tongue, "Search the freighter." 

"Hurry!" she whispered to them. She stopped at the "safe area" and told them to stop moving. As she pulled out her gun, she saw Rey lean over and go to press the fuse buttons. 

"What are you doing?!" Lorelai hissed.

But it was too late to stop her. Rey pressed the buttons and the sound of doors opening was followed by a pair of roaring screeches - a sound Lorelai was all too familiar with. 

Rey turned to Lorelai and whispered, "Oh no." 

"What?" Finn asked. 

"Wrong fuses." 

An idea hit Lorelai. She turned to Rey who held her hands up. "This may work in our favor," she said. She eyed Rey. "And you better pray that it does." 

Before either Finn or Rey could ask, Lorelai shot open the opening above them. She got up and looked back down to them. "Go to the other side and you will find an exit. Get out from there and hide in the Millennium Falcon. I will get you from there. Do you understand me?" 

Rey and Finn nodded. Lorelai ran off and as she turned corner, she stopped when she saw a group of death gang members be pulled back and eaten by the rathtars. Lorelai shot at the rathtar a couple times before running off to look for Han, Chewie, and BB-8. She found them shooting at the rathtars, BB-8 hiding behind. 

"Han," she called out to him as she helped him shoot. "I have an idea."

Han looked back to her, anger filling his eyes. "I told you to watch the kids!" 

"They'll be fine! Look, we need to get everyone into the Millennium Falcon and get out of here." 

"Are you stupid?! That piece of crap is not going to work!" 

Lorelai shot off one of the rathtars tentacles and looked back at Han. "Clearly it does if they were flying it!" 

Han grumbled and yelled,"Fine! But those kids better still be alive!" 

Lorelai ran off in search of the Rey and Finn. She shot at several Guavian Death Gang and Kanjiklub members before they were taken away by the rathtars. One of the Death Gang members, ran into her and nearly pushed her towards the rathtar's tentacle, but she shot at the tentacles before shooting him. One tentacle wrapped around her ankle. She shot at it before shooting one rathtar right in the eye and kept running. 

She found Rey running around. "Where's Finn?" Lorelai asked. 

Before Rey could answer, one of the rathtars burst through one of the hallways, Finn wrapped tightly in it's grasp. Lorelai and Rey ran after it when Lorelai saw the control room up ahead. She stopped Rey. 

"Get in there and close the blue button the split second the rathtar gets in the frame," she commanded. 

Rey nodded and ran off as Lorelai ran after the rathtar, shooting every tentacle he had left in order to get to Finn. Once it was in the door frame, the door cut off the tentacle that held Finn. Finn jumped up and ran toward Lorelai. "We're getting Rey and heading toward the Millennium Falcon now," she ordered. 

Finn nodded and followed Lorelai as she got Rey out for the control room and headed towards the area where Han and the others were. As the three of them ran, large thuds followed from far behind. Lorelai glanced over to find the only rathtar alive heading toward them. He was far enough where there was still a chance, but that didn't stop her or Rey or Finn from running faster. While running, Lorelai would turn back and shoot at the monster.

Han, Chewie, and BB-8 were standing by the Millennium Falcon when Rey, Finn, and Lorelai made it. "We got one fairly close behind!" Lorelai yelled to Han. "Everyone get in now!"

"Close to the door behind us," Han commanded to Rey. He pointed to Finn. "You take care of Chewie." 

Everyone hurried on and just Lorelai made it to the ship's entrance, she tripped and twisted her ankle. She let out a scream and saw the rathtar coming closer. Fearing that there was no hope left for her, Rey pulled her up from under her arms and dragged her into the ship as the doors closed behind them. She helped Lorelai get onto her one foot as Lorelai hopped her way to one of the bench areas. In the area beside her, Finn fought a wounded Chewie to get a bandage on him. BB-8 rolled by her and asked if she was okay. 

"Just dandy," she clenched her teeth. She held onto her ankle while Han and Rey tried to figure out navigation. When she looked up to the window ahead find the inside of the rathtar's mouth in view, Lorelai hopped over and took the seat behind Han and Rey. 

"This is not how I though this day was going to go," Han commented.

"Speak for yourself," Lorelai shot back as she looked around for the compressor. "Where's the compressor on this-." 

Next thing she knew, the ship lunged forward, peeling the rathtar off the he window, and flying them into the galaxy. Lorelai fell out of her seat and hit the back of her head on the wall. Her body slid down to the floor.

Once the ship went into neutral, Han hurried beside her. "You ok, kid?" he asked. 

Lorelai got up from the floor and walked away, letting her action speak for themselves. 

 


	4. Chapter Four

"How's your head?"

Lorelai opened her eyes to find Finn standing there. Her lips curled into a half-hearted smile. "The pain's subsided a little," she chuckled. She propped herself up on the bench and put her feet on the ground. She gestured to the empty space beside her, offering it to Finn. He hesitated at first, but proceeded to take a seat. She went on, "How are you feeling? Looks like that rathtar really had a hold on you back there."

Finn scratched the back of his neck. "Not too bad. I was more afraid of Chewie clawing my eyes out when I was trying to bandage him up."

"It's his defense mechanism. Give it some time and he won't be as difficult."

"How long did it take him to be comfortable with you?"

Lorelai ran a hand through her hair. "He's known me since I was very little so he's always been comfortable with me."

Finn's eyes widened in amazement. He glanced over his shoulder, point his thumb in the direction behind him. "So you've known Han Solo your entire life?" When Lorelai nodded her head, Finn's entire face lit up. By the smile that was plastered on his face, Lorelai mentally prepared herself for question time.

"Are you two related?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Family friends. My dad was a pilot for the Rebel Alliance for years. From time to time, he used to help Han with the upkeep of this ship." 

"Weren't you a pilot for the Rebel Alliance too?"

Lorelai's smile fell flat. She knew she couldn't lie to him - he had seen her ID card. "For a few years, yes."

"How close were you and Poe?" 

It was the one question she hadn't prepared an answer for. The very mention of his name made her chest sink down to her stomach. She thought for a moment, conjuring up whatever response she could come up with that didn't involve further explanation. "Friends" seemed to be the most plausible answer, but then there would be the question about why he would have her ID card in his jacket. Also, she couldn't bring herself to say it. She'd spent all those years assuring people that he was a "friend and nothing more" and it worked; but when kissing and occasionally spending the night at each other's room turned her attraction into falling in love with him, the word "friend" killed her. It was when he pushed her out that the word tasted like a poison. 

"Fairly," she finally answered. "We trained together. He was the top pilot and I was second to him so we often went on missions together."

Finn didn't seem convinced. "If that's the case, why did he have your ID card?"

"Good question. I'm not entirely sure myself. I didn't even know I left it behind when I left the Rebel Alliance."

"Why did you leave?"

Lorelai cocked her head back. "Almost an hour ago I threatened to kill you if you didn't follow my orders and now you feel comfortable interrogating me about my personal life?"  

Finn lowered his head in embarrassment. "I didn't mean to pry," he apologized. 

As he was about to get up, Lorelai gently touched his shoulder. He sat back down and Lorelai removed her hand. She silently cursed at the pang of guilt that hit her. "I'm sorry for snapping at you," she said with a little sigh. She leaned up and turned her entire body toward him. "I left the Rebel Alliance because I made a huge mistake. I lost sight of what mattered the most and it turned me into an even worse version myself." She paused. "That's not to say I was even a good person to begin with, but you get my point. I realized at that point that not only had I created a mess that I wasn't going to fix, but it cost the General's trust in me as well as the trust of other people. I was selfish enough to think that packing up my things and leaving without so much as a genuine apology was the best solution. Two years later not a day goes by where I don't regret what I did." 

For the first time in a long time, the chip that weighed so heavily upon her shoulders was lifted. In the back of her mind she always knew that she was the cause for her own problem. No matter how many times she blamed Poe or even General Organa, she knew it was her fault. 

Finn peeled off Poe's leather jacket and handed it to her. "I think he would have wanted you to have it," he told her. 

Holding the jacket in her hands brought her back. She could remember the several occasions and night walks where he would let her wear it when she was cold. What seemed as tiny gesture to him meant everything to her. That jacket was Poe's favorite and giving it to her felt like he was giving a part of himself to her. The stinging in her eyes returned as her fingers stroked the beaten leather. 

"Poe was captured by the First Order," Finn began as he moved closer toward her. "I rescued him and we were on our way to Jakku because he'd left BB-8 there when he was captured. Our ship crashed and when I woke up, Poe wasn't there. Just his jacket." 

Lorelai pursed her lips tightly, fighting back as many tears as she could. Never in a million years would she have thought that Poe would die during a mission, let alone a ship crash. Injured, sure. She had done missions with him where he would have to seek medical treatment afterwards but that was it. In her eyes, Poe's skills made him invincible and unbreakable. He always promised her that no matter what mission they went on - no matter how dangerous it was - he would come back to her alive and she would come back alive to him. She couldn't be angry at him for breaking that promise when it was her who broke it first. 

She handed the jacket back to Finn. "I think he would have wanted you to have it," she said giving him a warm smile. "Thank you for rescuing him." 

Finn took the jacket and nodded his head. He got up from the bench and left. Lorelai wiped her face and sniffled when a soft beep caught her attention. She looked beside her to see BB-8. 

 **He never forgave himself for what he did**. **He was the first person to report you missing because I was with him when he went to apologize to you the next morning.**

Lorelai knelt down in front of the droid, her face ridden with guilt. "He had nothing to be sorry for," she told the droid.

The droid opened up one of it's compartments to show her a hologram of a missing persons ad with her picture on it. Lorelai shook her head and looked away before she could lose it. 

**Sometimes he would take separate missions just to look for you. He promised Leia he would find you. He promised me too.**

She hugged the droid tightly. "I am so sorry BB-8," she sniffled. "I am so, so, sorry." 

The droid hummed.  **You know I forgive you. You know I do.**

Lorelai pulled back when she heard someone clear their throat. She looked up to find Han standing there. "We need to talk," he told her in a soft tone. 

She nodded her head and stood up, giving the droid a kiss on the top of it's head. She followed Han into a separate room. 

"We need to get BB-8 to the Resistance," he said. "The droid has a piece of information regarding Luke's whereabouts." 

Lorelai's eyes widened. Luke had been in exile since she was just beginning her training. After his young apprentice turned on him and killed the padawans who were training, Luke disappeared. She remembered first hearing about it and pushing her passed her parents to assure a grief-stricken Leia that she would do whatever it took to bring Luke back. 

"You think it could be the final piece of the map?" she asked Han. 

"All I know is that we need to get a clean ship so we're stopping at Takodana to see if Maz has a clean ship we can use." 

Lorelai rolled her eyes back and sighed. "Han you can't be serious. Isn't there somewhere else we can go to?"

"We have no choice. This isn't my first choice either but unless you have a better idea of where we can get a clean ship, we're going."

She threw her arms up in there. "Fine. But if she asks me to serve one more drink to one of those things, I'm leaving." 

"Should have thought about that when you first ran to her when you ran away," Han said patting her shoulder. 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note that there are some pieces of dialogue that are taken from the movie and they belong to Lawrence Kasdan, J.J. Abrams, and Michael Arndt.

Han landed on the Millennium Falcon on a grassy cliff that overlooked Nymeve Lake. Lorelai stepped out and watched how the rays of the mid-afternoon sun glistened on the lake. A gentle breeze blew through her hair as she inhaled slowly, trying to remember what it was like to be in outside world after being stuck in a ship for two years. The refreshing air and nature's aura surrounded her as a sense of freedom overcame her. She no longer felt as though she was hiding anymore.

"I offered Rey a job," Han informed her. "She turned down the offer." 

Lorelai pursed her lips together to fight back a smile. "Hate to break it to you Han, but you're not exactly the master of persuasion." 

He shot her a look. "I'll have you know I have successfully talked my way out of several different situations."

"Except for earlier when two of the largest criminal organizations in the galaxy tried to kill you."

"I would have handled it just fine _without_ the rathtar fiasco." 

Lorelai looked over to see Rey looking out at the lake, a somber expression on her face. "Tell you what, I'll go talk to her for you." 

Han motioned for her to go on and try. Lorelai walked over to the young woman and stood beside her. 

"I hear the old man offered you a job," she spoke up. 

Rey smiled blushingly. "He said he was 'thinking about it', but I think he was." 

"You could learn a lot from him," Lorelai noted as she folded her arms across her chest. "Sure, the pay could be better and it's not really much of a job but he knows his stuff. He's someone who could teach you a thing or to." She stopped to chuckle. "Whenever my dad wasn't able to help me practice my flight skills, Han would step in and teach me a couple things. My mother freaked out at the idea of Han Solo teaching her ten year old how to fly but it paid off." 

She looked up at Rey with a serious expression. "I don't know much about you but from what I saw earlier, you know how to navigate and work a ship. Working with Han could really improve your skills. Also, it would be nice to have another female on board." 

Rey's eyes lit up with hope for a brief moment but then fell at some unknown realization. She shook her head sadly. "I can't leave my home," she said. 

"Where is home for you?" 

"Jakku." 

Lorelai's arms fell to her sides as she furrowed her eyebrows at the younger girl. "Why would you want to stay in that sandy hellhole?" 

"It's my home. I can't just leave it." There was a whimpering tone in Rey's voice.

"Believe me when I say yes you can. Besides you can always go back and visit." Lorelai paused and tilted her head. "Is it a guy?" 

Rey looked at her with a puzzled expression. "What?" 

"The reason you can't leave, is it because of a guy?" 

"No! No, not at all." 

Lorelai nodded, somewhat convinced with Rey's answer. "Fine, but if it is let me be the first to tell you no guy is worth risking your potential." 

Rey chuckled as Lorelai patted Rey's shoulder. "Think about it, Rey." 

As Lorelai walked away she was stopped by Han. "How'd it go?" he asked her. 

She shrugged, giving him an "eh" before walking away. 

* * *

 

They were about to enter Maz Kantana's castle when Finn asked," Why are we here again?" 

"To get your droid onto a clean ship," Han answered. 

Rey and Finn exchanged confused looks. "Clean?" Rey asked. 

"If Han, Chewie, and I were able to track the Falcon on the scanner of his other ship, the First Order can track it on theirs," Lorelai explained. 

"You want to get BB-8 to the Resistance? Maz Kanata is out best bet," Han continued on. 

"Unfortunately," Lorelai mumbled under her breath. 

Han, hearing her comment, pointed a finger at her. "Behave. Remember she took you in when you made a run for it." 

"And I left which says a lot," she reminded him. 

Finn cut into their conversation. "We can trust her, right?" 

"Relax kid," Han assured as their made their way closer to the door. "She's run this watering hole for a thousand years. Maz is a bit of an acquired taste so let me do all the talking." He stopped to look at them. "And whatever you do, don't stare?" 

"At what?" Rey and Finn asked in unison. 

"Any of it," Lorelai replied.

Han opened the door and they walked in. Maz Kanata's castle, as it always was, was packed. It was the hangout spot for spies, fugitives, and smugglers of all kinds of races and species. What it lacked, however, was Takodana's charm and beauty. Unlike the outside part, the castle was dirty and smelled of alcohol, sweat, and other substances. The noise level wasn't great either. Between the ongoing conversations among customers and the music, it was hard to hear anything. 

When the group stepped in, Lorelai's eyes scanned the room as her nose scrunched in disgust. BB-8 took notice. 

**Are you alright?**

"Never better," she said dryly. "Just stay close to me, okay?" 

The droid beeped understandingly. Suddenly a woman's voice called out from across the cantina, "Han Solo." 

The entire cantina went silent. All patrons and musicians turned to look in their general direction. Stepping up toward them was Maz Kanata. Maz was a short, elderly, humanoid with a pair of round, oversized goggles over her eyes. Despite her stature, the deemed "pirate queen" was a force to be reckoned with and so help anyone who crossed her. 

Han waved over at her. "Hey Maz." 

As the patrons and musicians looked away and resumed their conversations and music playing, Maz walked over to them. "Where's my boyfriend?" she asked referring to Chewie. 

"Chewie's working on the Falcon." 

"I like that Wookiee." Her eyes caught Lorelai looking around and she put her arms on her hips. "Lorelai Vendetto." 

Hearing Maz say her name made Lorelai cringe. She looked over and waved awkwardly. Maz pushed aside Han to get to Lorelai. "I see you're still on the run," she noted. 

Lorelai made a face. "I wouldn't put it _that_ way-." 

"Oh? Then why have people from the Resistance come in here looking for you?" 

"It's been a long time since I left so surely they've stopped coming." 

"They check in from time to time." She turned her attention to Han. "I assume you need something, desperately. Let's get to it." 

Maz took them to a table in the back where they could be away from other patrons. She ordered food for the table before getting down to business. Han explained it to her that BB-8, or "that thing" as he referred to it, had a map of Luke Skywalker's whereabouts and that the First Order is after it. 

"A map to Skywalker himself?" Maz asked with a chuckle. "You're right back in the mess." 

"I need you to get this droid to Leia," Han said to her. 

She thought for a moment. "Hmm...no." 

"Maz-." 

"You've been running from this fight for far too long," she remarked. She pointed at him. "Han, _nyakee nato wadda_. Go home." 

 

Han let out a sigh. "Leia doesn't want to see me."

"The droid is more important than his failed marriage," Lorelai remarked. She quickly turned to Han. "No offense." 

He held up his hand. "None taken." 

"Please," Finn pleaded. "We came here for your help." 

"What fight?" Rey asked. 

"The only fight - against the dark side," Maz said. "Through the ages, I've seen evil take many forms- the Sith, the Empire. Today, it is the First Order. Their shadow is spreading across the galaxy. We must face them. Fight them. All of us." 

"There is no fight against the First Order," Finn argued defensively. "Not one we can win. Look around...there's no chance we haven't been recognized already. I bet you the First Order is on their way right-." 

Maz adjusted her goggles, her eyes becoming huge. She leaned across the table, knocking the food and plates off the table while keeping her fixation on Finn. It was the kind of look a predator gave when it eyed down it's prey. Finn leaned back in his chair. 

"What's she doing?" Finn asked. 

Han shook his head. "I don't know, but it ain't good." 

Lorelai's eyes moved back and fourth from Finn to Maz. "Just stay still and she'll go away, Finn." 

"If you live long enough you see the same eyes in different people," Maz remarked without moving her gaze away from him. "I'm looking at the eyes of a man who wants to run." 

Finn's face hardened, the vulnerability and fear from his face now gone. " You don't know a thing about me- where I'm from, what I've seen," he growled at her. "You don't know the First Order like I do. They'll slaughter us. We all need to run." 

Lorelai, Han, and Rey stared in disbelief at Finn. The way he spoke, it was as if he was a completely new person. The anger in his rage was strange but incredibly suspicious. It was enough to make Maz move back into her seat. 

She pointed to the table across the room. "You see those two? They'll trade work for transportation to the Outer Rim. There, you can disappear." 

Finn got up from his seat went to leave when Rey called his name. He turned to her. "Come with me." 

"What about BB-8?" Rey asked. "We're not done yet. We have to get him back to your base." 

Fear crawled back into Finn's eyes. Lorelai noticed the change in his expression when Rey said "your base." 

"I can't," he said. He pulled out a blaster that belonged to Han and handed it to him. 

"Keep it, kid" Han told him. 

Finn walked away. Lorelai watched as Rey ran after him. 

"Who's the girl?" Maz asked as her eyes fixated on Rey. 

"Her names Rey," Lorelai answered, not taking her eyes off Finn and Rey talking. "She's from Jakku. She found BB-8 with Finn." 

Maz nodded and turned her attention back to Lorelai. "Why don't you go and take BB-8 back to the Resistance? Don't you think it's time for you to go home." 

She shook her head. "Not a fucking chance."

"At least go home to your parents in Yavin 4." 

"I go to them, they will tell Leia and it will be this whole thing-." 

"You don't want to see him, do you?" Maz leaned closer to Lorelai. "You're still not over the Dameron boy, are you?"

Lorelai clenched her jaw. "Poe's dead. He died running from the First Order with Finn."

Maz leaned back. "I am sorry to hear that. You still love him, yes?"

Lorelai went quiet. Her eyes fell to the table as she inhaled and exhaled slowly. Maz took Lorelai's hand. "Go back to Yavin 4. Go to your parents, grieve, and then get your life back together." 

Han cleared his throat. "I think it's time you go back too, kid." 

She looked down at BB-8. A defeated smile appearing on her face. "I'll go after I take BB-8." 

* * *

 

Lorelai stood outside the castle when she heard Han's voice from behind her say,"You're doing the right thing, kid."

He put his hand on her shoulder and stood beside her. Lorelai chuckled as she looked out into the far distance. "Get ready for the 'why-did-you-take-our-kid-and-not-tell-us' calls from Mom and Dad," she told him.

"I'll handle it," he assured. He then changed the subject. "It'll get better, you know." 

"What?" 

"Life." 

She held back a smile, knowing what he was actually referring to. "Thanks, Han."

Han pat her shoulder one last time and the two went inside. They met up with Chewie who had just recently joined them. The three sat down when suddenly, a noise that roared like thunder could be heard. Debris started to fall and Han, Lorelai, and Chewie looked at each other. They ran out the door along with several other patrons when someone shouted,"Look! Up in the sky!" 

Lorelai looked up to the sky to find a red light soaring across the sky. Then, out of nowhere, a swarm of TIE fighters flew by and aiming their targets at Maz's castle. 

Finn's voice could be heard in the crowd. "It's the republic!" 

Lorelai spotted him as she, Han, and Chewie ran toward him. Finn was breathing heavily. "The First Order, they've done it." He looked around. "Where's Rey?"

"I haven't seen her," Lorelai shook her head. Then it hit her. "I haven't seen BB-8 either."

Before either one of them could move, Maz ran up to them. "Follow me!" she yelled in the midst of the screaming crowd.

She led them back into the castle and down into basement corridor. "I've had this for ages." They walked through the halls until she stopped at a large chest and opened it. In it was a lightsaber."Kept it locked away." 

"Where did you get that?" Han asked. 

"A good question for another time," Maz answered. She handed the lightsaber to Finn. " Take it! Find your friend!"

Suddenly the room above started to shake. More shots taken to the castle. 

"Those beasts," Maz cursed. "They're here." 

Lorelai pulled out her blaster and Han drew out his. Along with Finn, they ran upstairs which was now covered in head to toe debris. Running towards the exit, they were able to make it outside. 

"Chewie! Lorelai! Come on!" Han called out to them. 

They ducked for cover behind one of the broken down pieces of building as stormtroopers appeared one by one, coming out of the Atmospheric Assault Landers. Lorelai fired several rounds of shots before yelling to Han,"I'll be right back." 

She made a run for it, dodging every blaster that hit her way and shooting many stormtroopers in the process. She took cover behind another piece of the broken castle and started shooting. One stormtrooper got too close and she aimed for his face. In the distance, she saw a stormtrooper knock Finn's lightsaber away and pushed him to the ground. She shot the stormtrooper and ran over to help Finn. 

"Thanks," Finn sighed in relief as he helped her up. 

Han ran over to them along with Chewie. "You okay Big Deal?" he asked Finn. 

Before Finn could answer, a group of stormtroopers aim their blasters at Lorelai, Finn, Han, and Chewie. 

"Don't move!" one of them ordered. "TK-338, we have targets in custody!" 

They dropped their weapons and put their hands on their hands. "March, now!" They walked with the stormtroopers right behind them. One of them tried to grab Lorelai, but she shook them off. 

"Touch me one more time and I swear I will-." 

She was cut off by a stormtrooper. " We have incoming at two-eight-point-six! Move! Dispatch! Move! Scramble all squads! Repeat, scramble all squads! Anti-air cover en route to our position!" 

Her eyes moved up to the sky and widened in shock. She lowered her hands.

"It's the Resistance," she could hear Han say. 

As the X-Wings fighters drew closer, one of them caught her eye. Every muscle in her body stopped as she fixated on the one with the black X on it. There was only one person she knew who had that X-Wing. 

"Poe?" 

"Lorelai, look out!" Finn called out. 

A blast cut into the side of her left forearm. She let out scream in pain, taking a step back before falling back and hitting her head on a large piece of cement. Her vision blurred for a moment before turning into darkness. The last thing she could hear was Finn calling her name. 

 

 


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, there are a couple pieces of dialogue that are taken from the movie. They belong to their rightful owners.

After a smooth landing onto the Resistance base, Poe Dameron opened the the windows and swung his leg over the side of the cockpit, climbing down the ladder to get onto the ground. One of the Resistance technicians greeted him. 

"Sounds like mission went well," he noted as the pilot took off his helmet and handed it to him. 

Poe opened his mouth to respond when a beeping sound caught his attention. He glanced over to see his beloved BB-8 waiting for him. A grin swept across his face as he darted toward his beloved droid. 

"BB-8, my buddy!" he exclaimed, kneeling down on one knee to hug the droid. "I thought I lost you out there. How did you get out of Jakku?" 

The droid motioned toward Finn and beeped,  **Ask him**. **He's the one who rescued me**.

Poe looked to see Finn standing in the middle of the base, stunned. He'd sworn the night he escaped after crashing that Finn was dead. He couldn't find his rescuer anywhere and it killed him that someone had died to save him.

He got up off the ground the second Finn ran toward him.

"Poe Dameron?" Finn asked completely baffled.

"Buddy," Poe said as he wrapped his arms around the young man, patting his back. 

Finn pulled back. "You're alive?"

"So are you." 

"What happened to you?" 

"What happened? I got thrown from the crash, woke up at night - no you, no ship, nothing. BB-8 says that you saved him?" 

Finn shook his head. "No, no, no. It wasn't just me. Poe, there's something-."

"You completed my mission, Finn. I-." Poe stopped when he was distracted by the leather jacket Finn had on. "That's my leather jacket." 

Finn looked at it for a moment and as he was about to take it off, Poe stopped him. "No, no," he said. "Keep it. It suits you." 

He patted the young man's shoulders. "You're a good man, Finn." 

Finn smiled quickly before remembering what he had to tell Poe. "I don't know how to tell you this," Finn began as took a deep breath. "Your friend, the girl who's ID card you had in your jacket pocket? I found her but she's-." 

Poe's entire face fell in disbelief. His once bright brown eyes dimmed and the smile on his face vanished. His heartbeat stopped. "Lorelai? She's alive?" 

BB-8 chirped. **She is! We found her on Han Solo's ship!**

Poe moved passed Finn, his eyes moving around the base hurriedly. "Is she here? Where is she? Lor-."

Finn grabbed onto Poe's arm, pulling him back a bit. "The Resistance medical team has her," he informed calmly. Once he saw the distress come into Poe's eyes, he further explained. "She was shot in the arm by one of the stormtroopers' blaster and fell back and hit her head. She was unconscious for awhile but on the way here, we were able to wake her up a little bit. She was still fairly out of it but she's getting medical treatment now." 

Poe swallowed, the lump in his throat refusing to move. "I gotta go." He jogged passed Finn, darting towards the medical corridor. As he ran, he could feel his heartbeat return but it was now beating anxiously. The knot is stomach tightened and his mind raced with thoughts. Finn assurance of her being okay wasn't enough to convince him.

There were so many sleepless nights. Nights where nightmares confirmed his worst fears. He had seen her be killed by the First Order, her ship explode - the gruesome scenarios distressed him more than any night terror. Each trip he made, he would look for her and at his heart would beat in fear that he find her. But the possibility of her blood on his hands wasn't the only thing that kept him up. 

_"I'm the reason she left," he admitted to General Organa a few days after Lorelai was reported missing. "It's my fault."_

_General Organa stared at him with a blank expression. He took that as a sign to explain further. He drew a long breath. "We secretly were intimate for awhile and then the Tatooine Mission disaster happened..." His voice trailed off as he started to choke up. "I chose to save her life over another pilot's and it killed me that I had to choose between her and one of my men. After the disaster, I couldn't live with the guilt that I chose her over my fellow man. I thought about my dad and how my mother's death effected him and his work. I chose my job over the love of my life because we worked together and if I watched her die, I couldn't do my job anymore and I couldn't fulfill the promise I made to you and to my dad."_

_He watched General Organa process his story. After a few seconds of silence, the General Organa sighed. "I would like to remind you that I was already aware of you and Lorelai's personal affairs because right after I told you, you ran into her room and accused her of telling me."_

_Poe's eyes widened. "How did you-."  He was cut off by General Organa holding her hand up to him. She stood up from her chair. "I understand your reason for your actions. We're in a time where what you do affects the people you love. The current circumstances have put a strain on several relationships, mine included." She put her hands on her desk. "You called Lorelai 'the love of your life' to me without any hesitation but you made her believe something else. In fact, your actions caused you to lose her and me to lose my best pilot and my friend. In your explanation to me, not once did I hear you say you were sorry. Instead I heard someone choosing themselves over someone else, so tell me...do you love Lorelai?"_

_"Yes," Poe immediately answered._

_"Then get out of my office and go find her."_

Poe reached the medical corridor and found General Organa conversing outside a hospital room with a nurse. 

"Is she in here?" he asked her as he interrupted the nurse halfway through her sentence. 

General Organa nodded and held her hand out. "I will go in first," she said to Poe calmly. "If she wakes up and is well enough to feel comfortable with you being in the room, I will come get you." 

Poe bit his bottom lip. "I have to be in there." 

"You have a job to tend you, Dameron. I understand your impatience but right now she needs to focus on her health." She turned to the nurse and allowed her access to go in the room. The nurse left leaving Poe and General Organa alone. 

"Please," he pleaded his voice trembling. 

"Poe," General Organa warned. "Go." 

Poe shook his head and turned away. Han, having watched everything, appeared to Leia. 

"She would want to see him," he reasoned with her. "You should let him in."

The General made a face. "I can only manage one screwed up relationship right now and that's with you being here." 

* * *

Lorelai opened her eyes slowly as the throbbing pain in her head made it difficult for them to want to stay open. She let out a low hum as she tried to process where it is she was. The last thing she remembered was Finn and Han's face staring into hers. 

_"Han, she's awake!"_

_"I need you to stay awake, kid. You took a pretty bad falling but we're on our way to get you help."_

_Leia's face came into view. "Lorelai, hun, it's me. You're going to be alright. Just stay awake."_

Everything else after that was fuzzy to her. She was now much more aware of her surroundings and aware of the massive headache and bruising pain in her left forearm She wanted to lean over to see the damage but her headache stopped her. 

"Fucking stormtroopers," she grumbled hoarsely. 

She heard the door open followed by a pair of footsteps. General Organa entered, Lorelai's body stiffening. The general sat on the edge of her bed. She gave her a warm smile and touched her arm. "It's good to see you're awake and alive," she greeted. 

Lorelai managed to smile. "You know, just because I'm lying injured on a hospital doesn't mean you can't yell at me for what I did. I mean, don't yell because I won't be able to take it with this fucking pain in my head, but you can lecture me." 

General Organa chuckled. "I can wait." 

"I took off in a Resistance X-Wing and worked for your nerdherder ex-husband for two years and even left the X-Wing in his ship when we escaped and you're totally fine with holding off lecturing me?"

"I've seen people run off to worse places and do worse this things." General Organa motioned to Lorelai's wounded arm. "On behalf of my son, I apologize for that." 

"More like revenge for all the shit I pulled on him when we were kids." She winced at the pain in her forearm. "How bad is my arm?" 

General Organa glanced at it briefly. "The stitches look fine but you should expect some bruising for awhile." 

"Is there a mirror around? I want to see it." 

The general went over to the side table beside the bed and held it up for Lorelai to see. A mixture of red and purple bruising surrounded the stitched up area. The look of it was deceiving as it hurt much worse than it appeared. Lorelai sighed. General Organa put down the mirror and went back to sitting on the edge of the bed. 

"I should forewarn you that your parents are on the way," she changed the subject. "I made the call as soon as I arrived." 

Lorelai nodded understandingly. While this wasn't how she wanted to be reunited with them, there was nothing she could do. She made a mental note to have the nurse remind them repeatedly of the condition of their daughter's headache. The last thing she wanted was a million different questions flying at her. Not that they didn't have a right to. Not after what she put them through. 

She couldn't hold it in anymore. "Leia, I'm so, so sorry for what I did," she said with as much composure as she could muster. "I know saying that doesn't solve anything nor does it fix this whole thing, but please believe me when I say that I regret my actions. I took a lot of people in my life for granted - you included - and forgot how lucky I was to be a part of the Resistance. I don't expect any forgiveness from you and I am more than willing to accept the consequences of my actions." 

General Organa opened her mouth to respond when Han appeared into the room, Chewie beside him. 

"Are we interrupting something?" Han questioned. 

"Not at all," General Organa sighed. She turned to Lorelai and mouthed,"We'll discuss this later." 

Lorelai noted the sling on Chewie's arm. "Looks serious." 

The wookie roared.  _It was but I was brave about it._

"I don't doubt that," Lorelai chuckled. 

"Well it's good to see you awake and in one piece," Han remarked as he pointed to Lorelai's arm. 

"Considering the fact that my day has consisted of twisting my ankle, hitting my head in the falcon, getting shot at, and then hitting my head and getting a concussion, that's all that matters," she said.

General Organa motioned to the door. "Let's leave her to rest," she told Han. Han and Chewie waved goodbye and before General Organa left, she asked,"He was looking for you, you know. He tried to come in but I told him to wait until I got the go ahead from you. Are you up for seeing him?" 

Lorelai gave an assuring nod. General Organa smiled as she left. A few minutes later, one of Resistance doctors came in.

"How are we holding up?" she asked with a large smile on her face.

"I can't move, my head is killing me, and I have stitches in my arm. You tell me." 

* * *

Poe waited outside Lorelai's room alongside BB-8. He came the second General Organa gave him the go-ahead but added that he would have to wait until the doctor left the room. He didn't care how long he had to wait. Once the doctor left he was going in.

Ten minute passed when he heard the door open. He stood up and watched the doctor leave before taking a step in. BB-8 rolled in first, beeping happily to see her. 

"Hey you!" he heard Lorelai greet the droid. His heart stopped at the sound of her voice. There weren't enough words to describe how much he missed it. 

He walked in slowly when there she was lying in bed. Her eyes moved from BB-8 to him and they stared at one another. He noted how she had lost some weight and her hair was longer than when he lost saw her. She had some dirt on her face, most likely from the attacks earlier. The only thing that remained the same were those pair of green eyes that he adored to pieces. 

"I thought you were dead," he said breaking the silence. 

Tears fluttered in her eyes. "I thought you were too."

He grabbed a chair and set it beside her. He took Lorelai's hand, cupping them in his and started to cry.

"I am so sorry," he sobbed quietly. "I am so, so sorry."

Lorelai watched as a tear strolled down her cheek. She moved her hand away from his grip and stroked his dark hair, like she used to do when they would lie in bed together. She rested her head against his. "I'm sorry too," she whispered. 

While not all was forgiven and while there was a lot they had to discuss, both of them pushed it aside for the moment. In that moment, they were just happy to be in each other's company.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter Seven

Lorelai and Poe spent the rest of their time together catching up. She told him about her time working for Han and all the mischief he'd get them into. Poe went on about the missions he had taken on the past couple of years. Lorelai was so consumed in their conversation she had forgotten all about the pain in her forearm and head. 

"Have you shown General Organa the map yet?" Lorelai asked. 

Poe shook his head. "Right now, they're trying to map out how to save Finn's friend." 

"You mean Rey?" She leaned up. "What happened to Rey?" 

"Kylo Ren captured her while she was walking in Takodana forest."

She cursed under her breath. As smart of a girl as Rey was, there was no way in Lorelai's mind that she was going to make it out. Not at least without a scratch or without Kylo using his Jedi mind tricks to get information out of her. The thought of how upset Finn must've been sank her heart. If she had her it way, she and Finn would be on their way to rescue Rey instead of waiting around for answer or a plan. 

"Is he doing okay?" she asked looking up at Poe. 

Poe scratched the back of his head. " 'Okay' isn't the word I use. 'Managing' is more suitable. He's determined to go get her." He paused. "You knew he was a storm trooper, right?"

Her eyes widened as her mouth slacked open ajar. "No," she laughed. "I mean, that explains a lot but...wait, how did I not see this coming? I knew something was off about him but still, I had-.'' She stopped when she heard Poe chuckling at her. "What?" 

"Nothing."

"No, tell me."

"It's nothing, I swear."

"You're laughing at me! I'm literally looking at you while you're doing it."

"I just..." His voice trailed off. "I missed you." 

There they went - those three small words she used to dream he would say came out of his mouth, each word more genuine than the next. His eyes lit up when he said them and they were enough to shut her up. After all she'd done leading up to the night she ran away, she didn't deserved to be missed. It was then she realized she had three small words of her own to say to him. 

"Poe, I'm sorry." There it went without a single moment of hesitation. She swallowed hard as her eyes stayed on him. "I'm sorry I took everything out on you." 

His light dimmed as his eyes fell to the floor. They both knew that underneath the sweet reunion, there were things that needed addressing. Neither of them were really ready, but it had to come out and Lorelai volunteered to be the one to open the conversation. 

"I'm sorry too," Poe said hoarsely. "I'm sorry I caused you to run." 

"You weren't the only reason-." 

"No but a good chunk of it was because of me." He looked at her and reached his hand out. His finger gently took a strand of her hair and tucked them behind her ear, giving her goosebumps. His hand gently cupped the side of her face. 

Just as a tear was ready to fall, Lorelai took his hand in hers and peeled them off her cheek. She cradled them in her hands. "I think it would be best for both us to talk once everything is settled and I'm not in the position I'm in." 

Poe nodded understandingly. There was more he had to say but he knew she was right. "That's fair."

Lorelai smiled warmly as Poe pulled her in for a hug. Her head cradled against his chest as his fingers gently stroked her back. The thought of once believing this could never happen again nearly reduced her to tears but she fought them back. Turns out there were things she could leave in the past. 

"Lorelai." 

General Organa's voice cut the moment short as Poe released Lorelai. He stood up from the bed. Organa's gaze stayed on Lorelai. "Your parents are arriving now," she informed. Her eyes moved to Poe. "You are needed right this moment." 

Poe gave a nod. He turned to Lorelai and leaned down as his lips pressed onto her forehead. 

" _Now_ Dameron."

Poe quickly removed his lips and obediently walked out, nodding at the general. Lorelai smiled sheepishly when her eyes met General Organa's. "I did nothing but sit here and tell him we would talk about it later." 

General Organa nodded her head assuringly. "I'm sure you did." 

As the general turned to leave, an all-too familiar feeling washed over Lorelai. She cringed as she mentally scolded herself for allowing it to consume her. 

_I can't wait to see him again._

"Way to fuck yourself over, Lorelai," she mumbled to herself. 

Upon hearing the sound of the door open, she pushed it out of the away and sat up in the bed. The moment her mother's face came to view, she held out her arms and her mother came in for the hug. Her mother held onto her tightly, sobbing,"I thought we lost you." 

Lorelai tightened her grip on her Mom and opened her eyes to see her dad standing there. Tears fell down his face as he went to hug her and his wife. The three sobbed together, Lorelai's heart breaking into a million different pieces. Despite the regret she had with Poe the past two years, it was nothing compared to the regret she felt about the what she'd done to her parents. 

"I'm sorry," she said with a tremble in her voice. "I'm sorry I ran away." 

Her parents pulled back as her mom cupped her daughter's face. "The least you could have done was tell us you were with Han," her mother said. 

"Or ran away to come home," her dad added. 

Lorelai sniffled. "I'd disappointed enough people. Disappointing you guys would have killed me. It already does." 

Her mother's thumb swept away the tear that fell down her cheek. "All that matters right now is that you're alive." 

"And that you're not brainwashed like Ben," her dad added coldly. 

Her mother whipped her head toward her husband. "Not _now_ , not _here_."

"Did you actually think I ran off to the dark side?" Lorelai questioned her dad. 

"I had my thoughts at first." 

Lorelai scoffed. "Oh you've got to be kidding me-." 

"This was before Poe came and told us what happened," her mother interjected quickly. 

Lorelai's eyes widened. "He did what?!" 

"That didn't stop me from thinking that," he dad pushed. 

"Enough!" Lorelai snapped. She looked to her dad. "First of all, that is not the comment to be making here especially when your friends, _his_ _parents_ are aboard this ship. Secondly, I am not Ben. Yes, I was filled with angst and yes, I had a my moment of rage and fury, but turning to the First Order wasn't on my mind." She turned to her mom. "Lastly, what the hell do you mean Poe told you what happened?" 

"Poe told us you'd ran away and that it was his fault," her mother explained. "He told us everything and that he would do whatever it took to find you." 

"I told you several times when I was training you not to get involved with your co-pilots," her father lectured. "You don't get personal with the crew and you certainly don't let personal crap get in the way of your job." 

"I don't know if the nurses told you, but I hit my head pretty fucking hard so you lecturing me isn't exactly helping," Lorelai argued. 

Her mother backed her up. "You were there when the nurse told you she has a concussion."

Lorelai made a face. "I have a what?" 

"The doctor didn't tell you?" 

"No?" 

Just then the Resistance doctor appeared with General Organa and Han beside her. "I have the results of the tests," she announced. 

"Yeah I have a concussion," Lorelai cut her off sharply. "Thank you for informing the entire fucking ship before telling me." 

"Lorelai!" her mother and father snapped. 

Han held back a smile and shook his head as did General Organa. The Resistance doctor, taken aback, stood there for a moment before gaining composure. She cleared her throat. "You will be on bed rest for the next three days." 

"Joy," Lorelai said gritting her teeth. 

Once the Resistance doctor left, Han broke the silence. "You know, he's really good when it comes to working with rathtars."

Lorelai's mother made a face and her dad threw his head back.  

"Thank you for sharing that piece of information, Han," Lorelai said deadpan. "Really...thank you." 

* * *

Once her parents were able to calm down, they thanked Han for taking care of their daughter. General Organa led them out, leaving Han alone with Lorelai. 

"I talked to Leia," he began as he took a seat beside her. 

"Yeah? How'd that go over for you?" 

Han ignored her comment. "She said that you're still going to be a pilot for them -once you're okay to start flying again. You'll just have to work your way back up." 

Lorelai smiled but shook her head. "That's not happening." 

Han titled his head. "Excuse me?" he asked. 

"I'm not staying here. I'm going back with you." 

He laughed. Lorelai persisted. "Han, I can't stay here. Not after what I did. I appreciate you getting somewhat of my job back, but I'm not a Resistance pilot anymore." 

"Well you can't come with me." 

"Why not? We were doing fine before the rathtar extravaganza." 

"You belong here, kid. You don't belong living a life of scrapping by." 

Lorelai scoffed. "So Rey gets a job offer and I get kicked out." 

Han held up his hand. "That's not what I'm implying-." 

"Then what are you implying?" 

Silence fell as Han tried to contain himself from yelling at her. Lorelai waited, an angry but patient gaze fixated on him. Han finally answered,"Your skills are needed here. The Resistance needs your flying skills because they'll serve some good in this war. You're one of their best ones."

"But I was demoted, Han," she argued. "You even said so yourself." 

"Give it a couple weeks. You'll go back to your position in no time." 

"I don't want my position anymore." 

"Then what the hell do you want, kid?!" 

"I don't want to disappoint anyone anymore!" 

The sharpness in her voice made him speechless. It wasn't the answer he was expecting of her, but by the look on her face he could tell he was going to get an explanation. 

"I didn't just leave because of Poe," she went on. "I left because I started to see the look everyone was giving me. No matter what I did, something was never right or never good enough - not for Poe, not for Leia, and not for my parents. I got so tired of everyone treating me like some tragic hero. Yeah, working with you wasn't a breeze but at least you never made me feel like I wasn't good enough. If I come back here, I'm going to disappoint them and I can't handle that again. I can't." She stopped to gather herself and to see if he had anything to say. He didn't and she wasn't surprised. "All I'm asking is to wait until I'm released out of the medical vicinity and then let me come with you. Please." 

The glimmer of hope in her eyes killed him. He wouldn't show it but he could feel it. He gave it a moment before responding. "Finn and I are going to rescue to Rey," he said. "You, Leia, and I will discuss this when I come back and you can deal with her stubborn attitude." 

Lorelai smiled and held out her arms. Han reluctantly hugged her and Lorelai whispered,"Don't do anything stupid." 

"I can't promise you that, kid." 

Han pat her shoulder before leaving. Just as he left, Poe entered with his helmet in hand. 

"We're going off to distract the First Order while they get Finn's friend," Poe spoke up. 

"The one mission that actually sounds like fun and I'm stuck here." 

Poe chuckled. "I kind of wish you could come with...just like old times." 

Lorelai grinned and pulled off the covers. "Your wish is my comm-." 

Poe pulled them back over her. "No it's not. You need to stay here. I need to know I can come back and see you still here."

Finn entered the room. "Poe, they're waiting." 

Poe kissed Lorelai's forehead before hurrying out. Finn came by Lorelai's bedside and Lorelai smiled at him. "Before you go get your girl, let me give you something." She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a coin. "This was my dad's lucky coin. He gave it to me to use as good luck for my missions and now I give it to you. Keep it close, be on alert, and come back alive. Got it?" 

Finn took the coin and hugged Lorelai. "I promise," he said before leaving. 

Lorelai watched him go before having the room to herself. "Well this sucks." 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter Eight

Not long after the Resistance pilots left base, Lorelai was sent to (what was once) her room. She'd manage to convince her parents, Leia, and the medic team that she was capable to be left alone in her room. The nausea and dizziness had subsided a little and the last thing she needed was them stressing her out.  The only exception was check-ins every thirty minutes. It gave her enough time to watch what was going on during the mission in her own room. Back when she and Poe were in charge, Leia had the same monitor used to watch over missions in the control room installed in Poe's and Lorelai's rooms. As luck would have it, the monitor was still in the room and still up and running. 

She made sure the room was locked, pressing a button on the remote that was left by her bedside. She propped herself up in the bed and logged in to the monitor. Much to her surprise, her log in worked. She half-expected Leia to get rid of it after she'd run off.  

Poe and the others were making good headway toward the Starkiller Base. It then dawned on that there were only handful of people that were flying out with him.  _Shouldn't there be more?_ she thought. 

She leaned up a little more as crew drew closer to the Starkiller Base when each pilot made a shot at it. It was a direct hit but it wasn't enough. Lorelai eyed around for her headset when she spot it on her nightstand. Slowly standing up, she found the strength to grab it and sit back down on the bed. She turned it on as she set it on top of her head and adjusted the microphone. 

Poe's voice was the first thing she heard. _"But as long as there's still sunlight we got a chance."_

From the corner of her eye, she noticed a a group of First Order tie fighters  coming into sight. "Hello, yes, I would just like you all to know that there are some First Order people coming your way and that there are way more of them than there are of you," Lorelai notified talking into the mic. 

"The hell are you doing?!" Poe exclaimed. "You're supposed to be resting." 

"And you were supposed to assemble a crew but instead you brought the smallest amount of people possible with you," she countered. 

"That's what I said!" Jessika remarked. 

"But putting that aside, focus on not getting hit," Lorelai ordered. "I'll stay on the line to keep an eye out on First Order tie fighters coming your way."

She watched as the X-Wings continued to fly around the Starkiller Base, dodging any tie fighters that attempted to shoot at them. The Resistance pilots had no choice but to multitask. Lorelai did what she could but came to realize that even though there were still a lot of First order tie fighter being killed, more kept coming. It was going to be too much for Poe and his crew to handle. 

She set down the headset and got up from the bed. She walked around, hoping to ease what was left of any dizziness but every time she took another step the nausea and dizziness kept coming back. 

_Please, I need to get better. I need the strength to get up and be able to fly and save my friends. Please, please, please, please._

Finally she grabbed her headset and went to check on the monitor when the screen went black. She grabbed the remote and tried to turning it on but the monitor kept fizzing until it gave up and nothing would come on.

_Are you serious?_

She put the headset back on. "How's it going? Can you guys hear me?" 

"Yeah we can hear you. They keep coming but we're doing what we can," Poe replied. "Starkiller Base is almost destroyed though. Everything ok?" 

She entered the passcode and the doors to her quarters opened. "My monitor went out. I'm heading over to where Leia is to keep directing you guys." 

But instead, she made her way to X-Wing area. Entering the X-Wing loading dock, she looked around for anyone in sight. It was empty. She quickened her pace and climbed aboard the closest one she could find. She turned on the ignition and ignored the wave of nausea. She heard the entrance open as she slowly pulled out and made it out of the Resistance ship. 

"Any sign of First Order ties?" Poe asked. 

"My monitor died so I'm not entirely sure," Lorelai answered. "Give me a few minutes and I'll be there to distract them for you." 

In the silence that followed, her head grew to be light headed and her eyes were about to drift. Then a raging voice distracted her. 

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND?!" Poe screamed. 

Lorelai cringed at the volume of his tone. "Will you tone it down?" 

"Get back to the ship now before you kill yourself!" 

"I'll be fine." 

Then another voice chimed in. "Lorelai, this is General Organa ordering you to return to base." 

A reeling sensation crashed over Lorelai but she persisted. "I can't." 

"Damn it, Lorelai! Turn around!" Poe yelled. 

"Poe, there aren't enough of you guys to take on both the First Order tie fighters and- oh shit." Her drifting almost made her ship drop but she gained control in just enough time. 

"Lorelai, what's going on?" Poe asked. 

"I almost...I feel so weak." 

"Lorelai, you need to turn around before you kill yourself!" General Organa ordered. "I already lost Han. I can't lose you too." 

Lorelai froze. "What do you mean?" her voice softened. 

She heard Leia sigh. "Han...he's gone, Lorelai. He's dead."

The heartbreak in Leia's voice was enough to break Lorelai. She lost control of her hands and her ship started to fall. 

"LORELAI!" she heard Leia scream. 

Lorelai quickly snapped out of it and grabbed a hold of the controller. "I'm gonna be sick," she mumbled. 

"Just come home. Can you come home?" Leia asked. 

"I'm...on...my...way." 

"Dameron, keep focused. I'll let you know when she gets back to base." 

Lorelai managed to find her way back into the Resistance ship. She pulled in and turned the engine off. The pain in her head worsened and the room was spinning. She opened the X-Wing window when her dad rushed up the ladder to her side. 

"Are you alright?" he asked putting a hand on her shoulder.  

She looked at him. "Is Han..." 

She then leaned down to throw up. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter will be posted sometime this week. Trying to finish it before "The Last Jedi" comes out so I can write the next series based on that movie.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm gonna be honest this is kind of a weird chapter. It's both depressing and slightly random, but bear with me. We got one more chapter to go :)

Although the doctor assured Lorelai was safe to go back into her room, Lorelai's mother, high on emotions between her daughter's near-death experience and Han Solo's death, insisted it was best to have her daughter in a place where she could be watched in case she attempted anymore escapes. Her father tried to reason with his wife but failed. It wasn't until Lorelai, who had been silent up until that point, couldn't take it anymore and got up from the bed. She and her father exchanged looks  and he pressed the button for her to leave. 

"Lori." 

She turned back to her father to see his eyes gazing at her with sympathy. "Promise you'll stay on base and that we'll talk later?" 

She nodded her head and continued making her way to back to her quarters. She was thankful for the quiet walk and that nobody was around to see her failing to hold her tears back. There wasn't a lot of time in between finding out about Han's death and going back to the medbay for her to fully process the news. If she cried in front of her mother and the doctor, they would've thought she was emotionally unstable and kept her in the room overnight. Her pace quickened as she started to hurry to her room, wiping as many tears off her face as she could. Just until she could be alone. 

After entering the code, she walked into her quarters and leaned over onto her desk and let herself come undone. Heavy tears poured down face as breathing quickly turned into hyperventilating. 

None of this felt real. Han Solo was never supposed to die this way. He was a survivor who knew how to get out of anything. He'd gotten away from people worse than the First Order. 

She was too caught up in her emotions that she didn't hear the door open. It dawned on her that she wasn't alone when she felt a hand on her back. She looked up to find Leia standing behind her. Leia gave her warmest smile she could muster as Lorelai tried to collect herself. 

"I'm sorry," she sniffled as she wiped her eyes. "I just..." 

Leia shook her head. "Han was your mentor. Had been since you were a kid. You have just as much of a right to be upset." She smiled. "I remember getting a kick out watching you two during pilot lessons. For someone who knew how to work with con men, working with a kid who was just as hard headed was a challenge for him. He used to hate it whenever I would point out how alike you two were. He'd never you tell you, but you meant a lot to him. After feeling like he failed with Ben, you were the reminder that maybe he wasn't such a screw up." 

Lorelai's eyes widened upon hearing the name "Ben". "You don't think it was _him_ who did it?" she asked shaking her head. 

The smile leaving Leia's face said it all. Lorelai pursed her lips back as the tears started coming back.

"He knew it was a possibility-." 

"-which is why he didn't want me to go with him," Lorelai finished, her voice trembling. "I should've known. I should've..." 

She slammed her hand on the desk. Anger boiled in her blood as she mentally swore to first find the Storm Trooper who caused her to get a concussion and kill him and then go after Ben - or Kylo Ren. 

"Lorelai," Leia said in a gentle tone. 

Lorelai turned and opened her mouth to swear she'd seek revenge when she remembered that it was still Leia's son she wanted to kill and that she knew better than to say something like that under such circumstances. She closed her mouth and exhaled deeply. "Whatever you need me to do, I'll take care of it," Lorelai promised calmly. 

Leia took a step forward. "In that case, I ask three things of you. First, I need you to focus on getting better. Take care of yourself and don't do too much all at once. Second, I need you to stop running from your problems. I had hoped Han would have this talk with you, but it's time you dealt with them. If you want to get back on the team, you need to learn how to handle every problem and issue you're faced and then move on once it's done. Whether it's dealing with others or dealing with your relationship with Poe, you need to deal with it like an adult. I know life hasn't been easy for you but you gotta toughen up."

Lorelai listened, nodding her head understandingly. She knew Leia was right and she knew deep down she was getting tired of running. 

"And finally, for my sake and for yours, talk to Poe. He loves you just as much now as he did back then, and I know deep down you still love him too. I let a grudge I held against the man I loved go on til' it was too late to fix it. You still have a chance to make things right. Do it while you still can."

"I will," Lorelai promised. Leia put her hand on Lorelai's cheek.

"Han was so proud of you. Never forget that."

She pressed a kiss on Lorelai's forehead before turning around to leave. But before she walked out, Lorelai asked,"Will you be alright?"

Leia half-smiled. "One day, I hope to be."

As soon as she was gone, Lorelai drew a long breath and faced the mirror that hung above her desk. Her green eyes were bloodshot red. Parts of her clothes were still covered in dirt from the attack at Maz's and her dark hair was a tangled and had some leftover debris in it from Maz's place being blow up. She was a mess to say the least. It was as if the tragic hero she had been to become had come to life before her own very eyes. Then it hit her - she wasn't a tragic hero. She still had time to make things right. 

And she knew the first change she would make.

Reaching into her desk drawer, she noticed an envelope with her name on it. She picked it up and eyed the handwriting, not having recognized it. She opened it and read the letter inside.

* * *

Outside the base, Resistance workers scattered as the pilots landed their X-Wings. Poe climbed down the ladder and threw off his helmet. His eyes hurriedly scanned the area for Lorelai. BB-8 rolled up next to him and beeped.

"Yeah, I'm looking buddy," Poe said as he tried looked out at the crowd that was coming toward him.

Resistance officers kept coming and Poe kept pushing through them. BB-8 beeped excitedly. _**There she is! I see her right over there!**_

Then Poe saw her. She stood outside the entrance wearing skinny, taupe trousers, brown combat boots, and a long sleeve, grey henley top tucked in. Her dark hair was cut just into a long, wavy bob that rested at her shoulder tips. She was cleaned up, no longer covered in debris and dirt from her accident. 

She looked normal, almost her old self again. 

Poe's mouth gaped open as he stood there, staring at her. Then she looked in his direction and as her small lips curved into a smile, her green eyes twinkling. Poe grinned and ran to her. He scooped her up in his arms, pulling her close to him.

"Careful," she chuckled. "I still have the stitches." 

He took a step back. "Sorry. I completely forgot."

She wrapped one arm behind his shoulders and the other around his neck, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Poe wrapped his arms around her waist. "Please, don't do that again," he whispered. "Not until it's safe." 

She couldn't help but grin. "We're in the middle of war. It's never going to be safe." 

"You know what I mean." Poe pulled back a bit, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. "I heard about Han. How are you holding up?"

Lorelai's smile fell and she drew a long sigh. "I'm...I don't know."

She opened her mouth to say more but the words failed to come out. Poe lifted her chin. "Hey. It's gonna be ok. If you want, I can come over and we can talk about it." 

"Actually," she began as she straightened her posture,"we need to talk about something else." 

Poe tilted his head and before she could say any more, someone yelled,"Look! It's the Millennium Falcon!" 

Lorelai and Poe looked over to see the Millennium Falcon land onto the Resistance base. Both Poe and Lorelai hurried over, pushing past as people in the crowd to get to the front of the line. The door opened and out walked Chewbacca, carrying Finn's body in his hands, with Rey right behind him. 

"Oh no," Poe mumbled.

He hurried over beside Chewie as the Resistance medical team took the Finn from Chewie's hands. A nurse checked for a heartbeat as they loaded him onto the medbay van. "We got a heartbeat!" he announced as they hurried Finn's body inside. 

Lorelai walked up to Chewbacca and he turned to her. She could feel her eyes swell up just by looking at how distraught he was. Han was his companion, his best friend. When he whimpered, Lorelai embraced him. 

"It's ok," she assured him, sniffling. "It's gonna be ok." 

She let go of him and smiled. Chewbacca left, leaving Lorelai and Rey alone. Lorelai moved closer to her as the young women hugged. 

"I'm glad you're alright," Lorelai said with a warm smile. "What happened to Finn?" 

Rey swallowed hard. "Kylo Ren." 

Lorelai nodded and folded her arms across her chest. She pat Rey's shoulder as she started to make her way inside the Millennium Falcon. 

It was weird, being inside and not hearing Han's grumbling and complaining. Without Han, the Millennium Falcon was just another ship. He brought so much life into it and it was his prized possession. Lorelai's fingers glided on the walls as she took one last look. 

She felt someone take her other hand and she looked to see it was Poe. He gave her a nod as if to say that he was here for her. BB-8 rolled up beside her. She smiled at the droid and Poe and continued to walk around.

Every step she took, she felt a piece of her heart get ripped out. Eventually they made it to the cockpit and stopped. She stared at it quietly for a few seconds. 

"I snuck in here when I was twelve years old," she said hoarsely. "It was right before he sold it off. I came in here and after getting lost for a bit, I found my way into the cock pit. I took a seat in the pilot's chair and played make believe for hours on end. Suddenly, Han caught me just as I was about to destroy the Dark Side and win the entire war. He told me to press a couple buttons, pull a couple levers, and the next thing I knew, the Millennium Falcon started to rise off the ground." 

She trembled, shaking her head. "He told me maybe one day I could take it for a ride. But only when I became a good pilot. My dad taught me the basics of flying, but Han was really the one to show me how to be a great pilot and I would give anything to let him know how grateful I am to have..." 

She couldn't finish. Poe pulled her to him as she clutched onto his shirt and wept. He rested his chin on top of her head as his fingers stroked her back up and down. 

"I'm sure he always knew," he said quietly. "I'm gonna get you up and flying soon. You'll go back to making him proud. I'll make sure of it." 

Lorelai lifted her head up and nodded. Her eyes stayed on his and his on hers. In that moment, she wanted to tell him about the letter but it would have to wait just a little longer.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've finally reached the end! It's a bit awkward and I apologize a great deal for it but I hope you like it!

 Poe and Lorelai were making their way inside the Resistance when C-3PO caught them. 

"Master Poe, Miss Lorelai!" he called out to them. "Come quickly! R2 is awake!" 

Lorelai scrunched her face. "Wait what?" she asked. "I thought he was dead?" She turned to C-3PO. "No offense." 

The droid stiffened. "None taken. But he is awake and he has something he'd like to show everyone." 

Lorelai and Poe looked at each other and followed the droid to the control room where other Resistance officers, pilots, and Leia were standing. Leia along with Snap and Jessika took note of Poe and Lorelai holding hands and made faces. 

"So what's going on?" Poe asked Leia. 

"We could ask you the same thing," Snap remarked. 

Lorelai rolled her eyes as Leia answered. "R2 has something to show us." 

R2D2 rolled up in front of everyone and presented what looked like a large digital map. Everyone stared in awe and in confusion until Poe looked at the map on Leia's control table. "It looks like the map to Skywalker," he said.

"But there's a missing link," Leia pointed out at the empty slot in the map.

BB-8 beeped and rolled to Poe. "Yea buddy, hold on," Poe said. He grabbed something from the table and gave it to BB-8. BB-8 put inside one of it's compartments, rolled up to the map and presented what was the missing piece. Everyone gasped as the piece fit the missing spot.

"The map, it is complete! C-3PO exclaimed.

"Luke," Leia whispered to herself.

Everyone marveled at it as it even brought a smile to Lorelai's face. "But now who's going to go get him?" C-3PO asked.

The room went silent. Poe cleared his throat and attempted to raise his hand when Lorelai smacked it down. "Don't think about it," she mumbled. "They need you here." 

"Oh? And you'll go?" he whispered back. 

"Yeah because they'll send a girl with a concussion to get him." 

"I'll go," a voice offered with determination. 

Everyone turned to see Rey holding up her hand. Leia put a hand on the young woman's shoulder. "Are you sure you want to?" she asked. 

Rey nodded confidently. "I can take the Millennium Falcon there." 

Poe looked at Lorelai and went to say something when Lorelai grabbed his forearm. "Don't worry about it," she mouthed with a small smile. 

"But you said-." 

"He'd want her to have it. Besides, she'll have Chewie with her."

Poe nodded understandingly. 

As everyone started making preparations, Rey approached Lorelai. "I'd like for you to come with me," she offered. "I need a second-in-command and since you were Han's, I figured you could be mine." 

Lorelai smiled and shook her head. "Although it would be a honor, I'm afraid I have to stay here. Doctor's orders." 

Rey nodded as Lorelai went on. "For the record Chewbacca was Han's second-in-command so you'll be in good hands." 

She gave the young woman a hug. "Best of luck on your travels." 

Rey smiled and thanked Lorelai as Lorelai turned to walk away. She found Poe talking to her parents and made her way over. 

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked folding her arms across her chest. 

Poe turned to her. "As a matter of fact, your dad and I agreed that since the doctor said you would be ok and since I would be checking in, I think they're good to go home." 

Her father pat Poe on the shoulder. "I couldn't agree more." 

Her mother marveled,"I really like this one, Lorelai." 

Lorelai side-eyed Poe as she tried to fight back a smile. "Well, I'll be happy to escort you back to your ship, Mom and Dad." 

Her parents gave Poe a warm goodbye and Lorelai said she'd be with them in a moment. She looked at Poe. "Thank you," she sighed. 

"I just figured maybe we could get some alone time before the celebration." 

"Speaking of which, meet me in our normal spot later tonight. Depending on how things go, maybe I'll join in on the party later."

She pat Poe on the shoulder and made her way to send her parents off.

* * *

Lorelai stood outside the Resistance base, gazing up at the night sky. Knowing the day was coming to a close brought relief. To say it had been the longest day of her life was understatement. She'd never admit it, but a part of her secretly had hoped to one day return to the Resistance ship. She had her reasons for why she had waited to do so and maybe one day, when she was comfortable, she would explain. For now, she was prepared to address only one of them.

"Been awhile since we've done this." 

She looked over her shoulder to find Poe coming up from behind her. Her lips curved into a slight grin as a she hummed a quick "hmm". "I'm surprised you're here without BB-8," she said.

Poe stood in front of her. "Surprisingly he didn't put up much of a fight like he normally does. I think he knows something's up." He sighed. "So what is going on?" 

She reached into her back pocket and pulled out the letter. "I found this earlier today."

He didn't flinch, much to her surprise. He acknowledged it with a quick glance before returning his eyes to her. "I meant everything I said," he stated. 

"I'm not doubting your sincerity, Poe. I believe you but that doesn't mean I don't have questions." 

He sighed. "Are you sure you want to do this now? After everything that's happened today, you want to throw this into the mix?"

"Here's a better question." She took a step closer to him. "Did you honestly think that when I back came to you, I would forgive and forget everything that happened?"

"I figured we'd eventually talk about it." 

She folded her arms across her chest. "Poe, I love you and I want to be with you more than anything else, but I also don't want to act like I didn't run away for two years because you made me believe you didn't love me." 

It was Poe's turn for tears. She watched him try to fight them off, but even the best pilot in the Resistance wasn't immune to tears. She would be lying if she said she didn't feel her own heart break by watching him, but she wasn't going to go easy on him. 

As for Poe, he knew she was right. It was the one thing that haunted him from the moment he did it. He never forgave himself for it and it was punch in the gut whenever he was reminded of it.

"I know you're sorry," she went on. "I believe you when you say you would take it back if you could. But I also know that if you really loved me and you would do whatever it took to have me, you'd talk about this so we can work on this." 

Poe took her hands in his. "What do you want to know?" he asked. 

She had to fight off the urge to smile when it became clear he was all in. "Why didn't you talk to me about the Tatooine disaster?" 

He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing she had worked up to that question. "I didn't want you to think I ever regretted saving your life." He opened his eyes. "Before then, I never had to choose which pilot's life was worth saving. I saw how Jensen's death impacted everyone and I was afraid people would find out about you and I and think that the choices as make as a leader come are personal." 

"Which is why you pushed me out," she concluded. 

He nodded. Lorelai let go and folded her arms across her chest. One statement answered so many other questions she'd had, except for one. 

"You tried to get me suspended, Poe." 

"Because you were acting out recklessly and it started to show in your work," he reminded her. "Not to mention, you started putting the lives of your co-pilots in danger."

"Why didn't you at least talk to me about it?!" 

"You shut me out too, Lorelai!" 

Silence fell as Lorelai processed what had just come out of his mouth. Deep down, she knew he had been right. There had been times where he tried to check in, tried reaching out, but the grunge she held against him prevented them from every being civil. She sighed.  "You're right." 

Then the realization came crashing down on her. She ran her hand through her hair and shook her head. "What are we doing?" 

Poe furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?" 

"This." She motioned the space between the two of them. "All of this. We had too many issues before I left and clearly, they're not ones solvable enough for us to be..." she stopped, fearing she was sounding too cheesy or over dramatic. She waved it off. "This, us...we need to just be friends."

Poe grabbed her forearm. "Not happening," he said shaking his head.

She shook her arm away from his hold. "All we're gonna do is fight and argue about every little thing and at the end of the day, what's the point of being with someone who makes it a battle for you to be with them? You have so many people you could be with-." 

"No."  

"-who will make it easy for you to be with them-." 

"No." 

"Dammit, Poe! You know I'm right on this one!" 

Poe shook his head. "You're not." He took a step closer. "You know damn well you're all I want and I'm what you want and for either one of to see each other with other people would kill us inside. That's worse than having to work this shit out between us. No we're not perfect and you are right - we have a lot of issues. But if you think for one second that either one of are walking away from this, you're wrong."

He placed the palm of his hand on her cheek. "I don't want anyone else. I want you," he told her. "If we have to work a little harder than most people to be together, then that's fine because at the end of the day I just want to be with you. Do you want to be with me?" 

She couldn't fight the smile that was forming on her lips. "Yes." 

He shook his head. "No, I wanna hear you say it in full." 

"I want to be with you." 

"And do you accept that we're not gonna be perfect but that we love each other and that we're gonna work as much as we can to sort out these issues?" 

"I do." 

"And do you accept my apology for trying to get you suspended and for being an asshole when I should have tried harder to talk to you?" 

She chuckled. "I do." 

He took another step closer, close enough to where they were face to face. "So kiss-." 

Before he could even finish, she pressed her lips to his. Poe smirked as he deepened the kiss, his hands cradling her face. He pulled away for a moment and rested his forehead against hers for a moment.

"I love you so much," he murmured, just loud enough for her to hear. 

She grinned. "I love you too." 

"So are you still up for going to the party the pilots are throwing or...?" 

"Depends, are you ready to be seen with me?" 

Poe pressed his lips to her temple and wrapped an arm around her. "Not funny." 

She giggled. "Just a little bit though." 

And as they walked inside, BB-8 was there to greet them. Seeing the two of them together made the little droid roll around excitedly.

**We're a family again! We're a family again!**

"C'mon buddy," Lorelai laughed as she rubbed the droid's head. 

The three of them headed off to the party Lorelai resting her head on Poe's shoulder and for the firs time in the longest time, there was nowhere else she wanted to be. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! They're together! Thank you guys for the lovely comments and follows! It's been so fun to write such an imperfect character for a change and I'm so glad you all liked her. 
> 
> So I did see "The Last Jedi" on Monday night and I made mental notes for when I write the next story with these two. Hopefully that will be up shortly. 
> 
> Please feel free to follow me on Tumblr at broadwayisdarktonite. 
> 
> Thank you again guys!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


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